Romantic and Platonic Love
Recycling a post: Using friendship as a framework in nonmonogamy, and letting the principles of nonmonogamy dismantle the limitations on your friendships.
Journal
Real stories from real people navigating the beautiful mess of non-monogamy. From first-date butterflies to jealousy spirals and everything in between—these writers are sharing their unfiltered journeys so you can learn, relate, and feel a little less alone in yours.
More Than One in Five Single Americans Have Tried Consensual Non-Monogamy. Here’s What Nobody Tells Them About Jealousy.
Hello Loving Without Boundaries Community! Research published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that more than one in five single American adults re
4 Questions to Ask a Therapist Before Your First Session (If You’re in an Open or Consensually Non-Monogamous Relationship)
Hello Loving Without Boundaries Community! Somebody finally works up the nerve to go to therapy. And then they spend the first three sessions explaining what th
Polyamory As An Act of Resistance
Non-Monogamy, bodily autonomy, and the fight against patriarchy
Terminology Twister
Recently, when I asked my audience what they wanted to know about non-monogamy, an interesting question came up: why do I use the term consensual non-monogamy (
Violent Nonviolent Communication
On Last Ditch, political infighting, and relational frameworks in community conflict.
Masculine/Feminine Energy: An Intro Without the Woo
Masculine and feminine “energy” gets thrown around a lot but it is rarely explained.. Here's the no-nonsense, no-incense version of what it actually means,
Why Hot Girls Have Tummy Issues
The Brain-Gut Connection
Podcast Interview: “More Than Monogamy”, The Ethical Non-Monogamy Documentary Team
Hello, Loving Without Boundaries (LWB) community! I am humbled, happy, and inspired to share my latest podcast interview with the team behind the new ethical no
For Everyone Who Thinks My Relationship Style Is a Problem
Thoughts about haters, keyboard warriors, disapproving relatives, and the art of being completely unbothered by people who haven't done the work.
What Therapists Should Know About Polyamorous Clients
I’ve been actively non-monogamous for over 10 years, have worked with 1000+ clients from 50+ countries as a polyamorous peer supporter, and I’m also in training
Why is Visibility Important?
Celebrating Week of Visibility for Non-Monogamy
I’m in a Documentary — And I Want You to Watch It With Me (More Than Monogamy)
A free screening, a live conversation, and the reason I said yes to being on camera when every instinct told me not to. Cheers, Beautiful People! Let me be hone
5 Things I Learned By Decentering Romance
How an intentional year without dating changed my life - for the better.
Dear Reader: Please, Stop Using AI for Relationship Advice.
If you follow me at all, I doubt the title of this article will surprise you.
Why slut tho?
On sexless slut eras and sex as validation.
Is ENM Like Opening Pandora's Box?
The Pandora's box story has become shorthand for a fear a lot of couples carry into ENM: once you open it, you can't close it. But there’s more to that stor
What "Conscious Swinging" Actually Means (And Why I Keep Using That Word)
I've been using the phrase "conscious swinging" for a while now, and it always creates a pause. A small recalibration. Maybe because the two words seem at o
I Just Finished the Heated Rivalry Book at Midnight. Here’s What This ENM Relationship Coach Can’t Stop Thinking About.
An ENM coach reads a romance novel at midnight and finds something real. Here's what Heated Rivalry taught Kitty Chambliss about love, trust, and non-monogamy.
Polyamory Isn’t Inherently Radical
I will die on this hill: polyamory is not an inherently radical practice, because it very much depends on the way you practice it.
Not Every Polyamorous Community Is Safe
Ever joined a polyamorous “community” and then noticed a charismatic and very obvious ringleader everyone is trying to impress, and who can do no wrong?
The Interracial “Cheat Code”: Is Marriage a Backdoor to Reparations?
One Black man inherits farmland through his father's interracial marriage and asks a provocative question: is this a quiet, domestic form of reparations?
Comparative Adolescent Female Sexual Development Western vs. Mosuo Society: Reflection
A reflection on Western shame-based approaches to adolescent female sexuality versus the Mosuo of Southwest China, where it's embraced as a natural truth.
The Aesthetics of Innocence
Post-Epstein feminism says abandon girlish aesthetics. One woman refuses — arguing her innocence, her desire, and her girlhood still belong to her alone.
Lily Allen, Lindy West, And The Sensationalisation of “Bad Polyamory”
What do Lily Allen and Lindy West have in common? They're both women who have recently published works that led to the entire internet dunking on the polyamorou
Something's gotta last past man
I didn't have time this week to write anything new so I pulled an older poem from the archives... Written by: Tamar Simone Weir Written on: 5-12-21 my body draw
Coercion Culture & Silence
What Non-Monogamous Communities Need to Learn from the Epstein Files - How coercion culture, and silence leads to harm in sex positive environments.
Positive Polyamorous Representation in Movies and TV
‘Challengers’ was one of my favourite films of 2023, but don’t get it twisted - it is not a polyamorous love triangle. It is certainly a triangle (the homoeroti
The Political Risk of Denying Eros
When the White House posted a Daddy kink meme, one writer confronted her own submission desires — and found a political case for trusting erotic longing.
The Cruise That Changed My Mind
On my first lifestyle cruise, I discovered it wasn’t just about fun — it was about community, openness, and how ethical non-monogamy strengthens relationshi
Kink, Power Dynamics, and Society
I fundamentally disagree with the (unfortunately common) notion that kink reinforces power dynamics in society and is inherently problematic. Yes, we may not be
You Can’t Read Me in a Glance…That’s Not Random, It’s By Design
From Detroit streets to Catholic school to Hollywood studios, James Mosely reflects on a life too layered to fit a single narrative — and why that complexity.
Why I Left Counseling to Become a Coach
Insurance audits, ethics boards silent on fascism, and hiding half her life at work — an ENM coach explains why she walked away from therapy to serve her.
Why Most Therapists Don’t Understand Polyamory
Most therapists aren't trained to be polyamory affirming, and that could be a huge roadblock to polyamorous people getting the mental health support and relatio
My Positionality: Revolving Orbs
Blackness, atheism, non-monogamy — identity isn't a fixed point, it's a constellation. How positionality shapes the way we love and connect.
The Healing Power of Hockey Horn
Heated Rivalry as trauma reclamation.
Stop Trying To Educate People Who Aren't Here To Learn
I think marginalised people are often saddled with the burden of educating people who hold more privilege. I think that's really unfair.
Matrilineal Structures and Sexual Autonomy: The Mosuo Tisese as a Critical Counterpoint to Western…
Matrilineal Structures and Sexual Autonomy: The Mosuo Tisese as a Critical Counterpoint to Western…
The “humiliationship” proves everyone is afraid of vulnerability (especially Gen Z)
A humiliationship is a situationship that has you so wrapped up it feels humiliating. A therapist explains why the term shows Gen Z's fear of vulnerability.
the racist history of body hair, and yes i'm a hairy femme!
Written by: Tamar Simone Weir Fuck the beauty Industrial Complex. Let me just start there! In my childhood, I don't remember many beauty standards imposed on me
Are Polyamorous People Ugly? Well…You’re Missing the Point
I'm a polyamorous person and I make a lot of content about polyamory because that is my full time job. And every single day, I get people coming into my comment
Cap d’Agde: My Unfiltered Review
At some point in the lifestyle, most people hear about this place - Cap d’Agde. A tiny town on the Mediterranean in southern France with an entire gated nei
How Toxic Monogamy can Hurt Friendships
Have you ever been in a situation where you had a really good close friend. Then your friend got into a romantic relationship and then you started spending a lo
“Settling Down” When you’re Polyamorous
I’m 27 years old and have been actively non-monogamous since I was 17. When I was younger, a lot of people just assumed that I was casually dating and messing a
Double Standards In Polyamory
My ‘polyamorous’ ex once told me they didn’t like me sleeping with other people because I was a woman, but it was fine for him to do the same as a man. Double s
Stop Falsely Advertising Polyamory Socials!
I have no problem with kink, fetish, and/or swinging events - I’ve attended a few myself! - and obviously, the groups overlap a lot. But please, if your event i
Love Doesn’t Have to Look One Way
Monogamy isn’t the problem—but the pressure to be everything to one person might be.
Why Age Verification Laws Aren’t About Child Protection
Did you ever tap a “yes, I’m over 18” button on sites as a child despite being under 18? Most of you will probably say yes. I’m not here to say that was right o
Polyamory-Bashing In The Queer Community
When queer people mock polyamory, they undermine the very freedoms the community fights for. Leanne Yau calls out the contradiction and asks us to do better.
The Polyamorous Community’s Perfectionism Problem
The polyamorous community has a problem with holding itself to an impossible ethical standard, to the point where even genuine and honest mistakes (especially b
Polyamory Won’t Save You From Misogyny
Polyamory can offer more freedom, but it can't undo the patriarchy. Here's how misogyny quietly shows up in progressive non-monogamous spaces.
Why A Man Having Female Friends Is A Green Flag, Actually
I will die on this hill: women who don't "allow" their boyfriends to be close friends with other women are ruining their own relationships.
Polyamorous Men and The Chad-Cuck Dichotomy
The Chad-Cuck dichotomy describes the contradiction that is the polyamorous man. He is simultaneously perceived as a Chad for having multiple, usually female pa
Mononormative Propaganda I’m Not Falling For
Marriage as proof of love. Romance over friendship. The nuclear family as default. These mononormative myths are propaganda — and we're done.
Friendly Reminder: Polyamorous Lesbians Exist
“Polyamory is something that sex-crazed men made up to manipulate their girlfriends!"
Sex Work is WORK!
Sex work is a job that demands high intelligence, motivation, and a business-oriented mind - stripping requires marketing/sales, OnlyFans girls need social medi
Polyamorous People Do Not Need “Fixing”
If you believe I should "seek help for mental illness" because I'm polyamorous... How is me honouring my needs and boundaries by rejecting monogamy, developing
Firefighters' Union Branch Seeks Rights for Polyamorous People
So apparently, Scottish firefighters support polyamory rights, and some people on the right are super mad about this.
On Making Polyamory “Your Entire Personality”
Talking about your polyamorous life isn't making it your whole identity — it's just living out loud. You deserve to take up space like everyone else does.
Why Banning Porn Won’t Protect Children
If you don't want kids to be learning about sex from porn, the solution isn't to ban porn. It’s to improve sex education in schools so they can distinguish ente
How Abusers Use Polyamory To Manipulate
Abusers hide behind polyamory and BDSM to justify control. Learn the red flags so you never mistake manipulation for a relationship style.
May We All Be Sluts
To be a slut is supposed to be a dirty thing.
No, Polyamorous People Aren’t More Privileged
Friendly reminder: polyamorous people are FAR more likely to be queer and/or trans than the average monogamous population, and in general far more likely to be
Don’t Be A ‘Pick Me Polyamorist’
A ‘Pick Me’ is generally someone who belongs to a marginalised group but tries to appeal to more privileged groups at the expense of their own community. A good
11 Non-Monogamous Movies To Watch With Your Valentines
If you’re stuck on what to do for this season of love, my queer polyamorous film-loving ass has your back! I regularly review non-monogamy in the media for my s
Why Do People Hate Polyamory?
Dr. Elisabeth Sheff calls this "the polyamorous possibility" - polyamorous people simply existing causes monogamous people to make the uncomfortable realisation
Polyamorous People Are Just Trying To Exist
Polyamorous people who are simply existing and minding their own business are NOT to blame if someone close to them realises they are also non-monogamous and th
How to keep fucking when the world is fucking you
A little something for all of us right now.
What If Polyamorous People ARE Ugly?
If you’re a polyamorous person who is online, chances are you’ve been called ugly regardless of your actual perceived level of attractiveness. Instead of respon
Why Can’t I Do Polyamory For Love AND Sex?
Have you heard people tell you that polyamory is about love and not sex? Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand where these people are coming from – polyamory is
Monogamisery: The Tragedy Of The Miserable Monogamist
People who are secure in their monogamy are never threatened by the polyamorous possibility. The only monogamous people who feel the need to shit on polyamorous
Polyamory Haters Are Just Telling On Themselves
I don't care if people hate on me for being polyamorous. Because polyamory haters are just ignorant victims of mononormativity who are insecure that you make th
Is the Future Polyamorous?
“Do you think poly / open relationships is the direction we as a society are moving towards”
Non-Monogamy and Visibility: Coping Strategies for Hidden Partners
If you decide to date someone who cannot be publicly non-monogamous, it’s a good idea to have a frank discussion about what that will and will not include befor
Money, money, money, money!
Race, entrepreneurship, and dating walk into a bar. The complicated feelings that come up when money becomes part of the relationship equation.
Big girls need love, too
The internet has opinions about plus-size people and desire. Those opinions are wrong. Big girls deserve love, lust, and everything in between.
Please don't call me chocolate
A Black woman shares the racial fetishization and cultural insensitivity red flags to watch for on dating apps — and why she unmatch the instant she gets the.
Is Non-monogamy the Natural State for Humans?
Here's an exerpt: "I'm not here to write a paper debunking the theories of "Sex at Dawn". There's others who have done a much more thorough job of that than I.
7 Famous Polyamorists From History
Georgiana “Gee” Cavendish was an English duchess, gifted author, and women’s rights activist. She was well known for her unusual marital arrangement with Willia
Slut-Shaming in the Polyamorous Community
One of the things that people in the polyamorous community love to talk about is how polyamory is not about sex, but about the loooove. I fully understand why t
BIPOC Voices in Nonmonogamy
Note: This blog post was written in the summer of 2020, shortly after the horrific murder of George Floyd in my hometown of Minneapolis. I am committed to keepi
Assume the Best
In nearly every corner of the nonmonogamous community at the moment, you’ll find a rousing debate about how folks should be structuring their time with partners
Desperately Seeking Normal
One of the reasons I write this blog is to contribute in whatever small way I can to the normalization of polyamory. I want the way I love to not be weird to pe
What it Looks Like
I am dealing with a medical issue in my damn hand that makes it very hard to type, so this week's post is going to lean pretty heavily on an external link I thi
