Bisexual Visibility Month
September is Bisexual Visibility Month, and I’m thrilled to announce I’ll be hosting another panel in Chicago - but this time, we’re making it unapologetically
Nicole Sonnefeldt
ENM Coach
From swinging to relationship anarchy, newbies to decades of lifestyle experience, Nicole helps all folks under the ENM umbrella navigate relationships and boundaries through exploration, healthy communication, and consent.
Coaching
ENM Coach
From swinging to relationship anarchy, newbies to decades of lifestyle experience, Nicole helps all folks under the ENM umbrella navigate relationships and boundaries through exploration, healthy communication, and consent.
Book a session25 articles by Nicole Sonnefeldt
FEATURED
RELATIONSHIPS
Managing Metamours
Relating to Your Partners’ Partners
RELATIONSHIPS
Defining Commitment Without Exclusivity
In monogamous relationships, we typically equate commitment with exclusivity.
RELATIONSHIPS
The “Relationship Escalator”
Why it’s important, no matter your relationship structure
FEATURED
Why Hot Girls Have Tummy Issues
The Brain-Gut Connection
IDENTITY
"Coming Out" as Non-Monogamous?
Things to consider about our mononormative world.
SELF CARE
Finding the Balance Between “Me” and “We”
A Necessity for Transitioning to Non-Monogamy
RELATIONSHIPS
Dating Non-Monogamous?
3 Questions to Ask Potential Partners
RELATIONSHIPS
Living ENM Q&A
Love and life from the perspective of a "solo polyamorist"
RELATIONSHIPS
Why is Visibility Important?
Celebrating Week of Visibility for Non-Monogamy
IDENTITY
How To Catch a Unicorn
Dismantling power dynamics and biphobia in non-monogamy
RELATIONSHIPS
5 Things I Learned By Decentering Romance
How an intentional year without dating changed my life - for the better.
KINK
Dear Reader: Please, Stop Using AI for Relationship Advice.
If you follow me at all, I doubt the title of this article will surprise you.
SELF CARE
Let's Stop Using the Term "Non-Hierarchical"
Non-hierarchical sounds evolved, but in practice it often creates more confusion than clarity. Here's why it's time to retire the label.
RELATIONSHIPS
Handling Rejection With Grace
More connection means more rejection in non-monogamy. Learn why neurodivergent people feel it most — and how to handle it with grace.
RELATIONSHIPS
Why “No Feelings” Sets ENM Up for Failure
No feelings sounds clean until the feelings show up anyway. Suppressing emotions in ENM doesn't make them vanish — it makes things messy.
FEATURED
People Pleasing
People-pleasing is a trauma response that destroys your boundaries — and in non-monogamy, it multiplies harm across every relationship you hold.
KINK
On the Hyper-Sexualization of Sensuality
Sensuality and sexuality are not the same thing. Conflating them harms sensory-seeking and neurodivergent people most — and all of us deserve better.
RELATIONSHIPS
The #1 Thing That Will Improve ALL of Your Relationships
Whether you are monogamous or non-monogamous, one overlooked skill consistently transforms every relationship — and it has nothing to do with structure.
RELATIONSHIPS
Reflections From My First EXXXOTICA
Speaking at EXXXOTICA revealed a glaring gap in lifestyle spaces: real consent education. Nicole reflects on what she found — and what she plans to change.
KINK
How Do You Know You’re Safe at a Play Party?
A solo poly unicorn explains why a consent talk alone doesn't make a play party safe — and how learning to read her body became her real safety practice.
FEATURED
Want to explore non-monogamy?
Excitement will get you started. But knowing your why is what keeps ENM from becoming a chaotic mess. Start here before you open up.
KINK
Coercion Culture & Silence
What Non-Monogamous Communities Need to Learn from the Epstein Files - How coercion culture, and silence leads to harm in sex positive environments.
RELATIONSHIPS
Jealousy: Our Over-Protective Friend
The goal in non-monogamy isn't to deal with jealousy — it's to befriend it. An ENM coach explains what it means to build a real relationship with your.
KINK
Why I Left Counseling to Become a Coach
Insurance audits, ethics boards silent on fascism, and hiding half her life at work — an ENM coach explains why she walked away from therapy to serve her.
