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"Coming Out" as Non-Monogamous?
Things to consider about our mononormative world.
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“Coming out” usually refers to the process of someone accepting and disclosing their sexual orientation and/or gender identity to others. The term exists because we live in a heteronormative and cis-normative society which assumes being heterosexual and cisgender is not only the default, but the only healthy and “normal” way to be. Since we also live in a mononormative society - one where the cultural assumption is that monogamy is the default, and the only “normal” and healthy way to be in romantic relationships - non-monogamous people often go through a similar process of “coming out” about their relationship structures.
Stigma toward those who practice non-monogamy is rampant in our mononormative and puritanical society, so it’s important for us to be realistic that “coming out” makes us vulnerable to judgment. Although most critiques of those who practice non-monogamy are based in cultural bias as opposed to fact, hearing criticism about our relationship practices from those who we love can be extremely hurtful. Yet, the alternative, hiding such a big part of our lives, can lead to feelings of depression and shame.
Original Post: Nicole Sonnefeldt
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