More Than One in Five Single Americans Have Tried Consensual Non-Monogamy. Here’s What Nobody Tells Them About Jealousy.

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Hello Loving Without Boundaries Community!

Research published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that more than one in five single American adults report having engaged in a consensually non-monogamous relationship at some point in their lives. My second press release is about what that number means, and what it doesn’t tell you.

What the research found

More than one in five. That is not a fringe. It is a lot of people, and in my coaching practice I’ve found that the number surprises almost nobody who works in this field. What surprises people is how little support exists for the part that actually hurts.

There are a lot of people managing this alone at eleven at night, convinced they are the only one who feels this way. They are not unusual. They are simply not talking about it.

The idea that does the most damage

The people who have the hardest time are almost always the ones who believed that choosing this meant the feeling would stop. So when jealousy arrives, and it almost always does, they read it as evidence that they made a mistake, or that something is wrong with them.

That interpretation causes more harm than the jealousy itself.

Jealousy is information

It tells you something needs attention. It is not a verdict on your relationship, and it is certainly not proof that you are bad at this.

Most people come to me looking for a rule. An agreement that will make the feeling go away. There isn’t one. The work is usually about what the jealousy is protecting, and that tends to be much older than the relationship you are in. It is also why the work rarely centers on the other partner. So much energy goes into managing somebody else’s behavior when the thing that needs attention is closer to home.

What I am, and what I’m not

I am a Master Certified Coach through the International Coaching Federation, and I am not a licensed therapist. I want you to establish that distinction before you choose where to look for help. Coaching builds skills going forward. If you are in crisis, or dealing with something clinical, coaching is not what you need, and I will tell you so.

Read the press release, and come to the masterclass

You can read the full press release on AP News here: https://apnews.com/press-release/ein-presswire-newsmatics/press-release-b255272b7d42dab5838d3db97fd6d4d9

If jealousy is the part that’s hurting, I lovingly invite you to my free masterclass, “How to Finally Feel Safe, Happy, and Secure in Your Open Relationship.” You can save your spot here: https://webinar.lovingwithoutboundaries.com/register

For the research, here is the study: Haupert, M.L., et al. (2017). “Prevalence of experiences with consensual nonmonogamous relationships: Findings from two national samples of single Americans.” Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 43(5), 424-440.

You are not alone in this. 💜

With love, Kitty

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KITTY CHAMBLISS, Master Coach (ICF-Certified), CPC
Relationship Coach | Speaker | Educator | Trauma-Informed
Author of “Jealousy Survival Guide: How to feel safe, happy, and secure in an open relationship”

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