How Abusers Use Polyamory To Manipulate

Photo by Markus Winkler on Pexels

@honeytwat wrote this:

“Polyamory is NOT when one person gets to do whatever they want while the other isn't allowed to.
BDSM is NOT when one person gets to cross another's boundaries and make them do things they feel uncomfortable with/did not consent to.
Abusive men will bastardize these practices as a way to gaslight their victims and the general public. Don't let them.”

When you are in a marginalised community, anything bad or toxic that one member of the community does is, unfortunately, more likely to be used to tar the entire community with the same brush. At the same time, these communities are less equipped to deal with the situation due to the limited support they have from the majority of the population.

There are so many misconceptions about polyamory that have been perpetuated by the media and people outside the community, and the confusion this creates is then utilised by bad eggs and abusers to further cause harm.

I don't claim to have all the solutions for this, except to say that we must remain vigilant to protect ourselves and the people around us. People who take advantage of others will always exist, but that doesn't mean they have to define us. One way we don't let that happen is by taking allegations and victims seriously and vetting our community spaces so we can avoid protecting another Franklin Veaux.

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