Podcast Interview: Ryle Kestano, Experienced Relationship Author and Creative

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels

I'm thrilled to share my latest conversation with Ryle Kestano — relationship author, authentic dating app creator, and creative. This episode has been a long time coming. I first met Ryle over a year ago at the Interfusion Festival in January 2025, just fifteen minutes from my home in Virginia.

I attended his Authentic Relating live workshop as my first session of the day. By the end, I had connected with someone who would go on to join our local LWB community — and I came back for a second session that afternoon. I left with his book, "Authentic Relating," in hand.

About Ryle

Ryle Kestano is the co-founder of:

• Kora — a dating and relationship app designed specifically for people navigating ethical non-monogamy and authentic connection
• ART International — an Authentic Relating training company
• The Realness Project — Authentic Relating programs for incarcerated individuals
• Pink Mammoth — a creative arts collective

He authored Authentic Relating: A Guide to Rich, Meaningful, Nourishing Relationships and leads the Authentic Relating movement globally.

What We Talked About

This conversation goes deep on the inner work that makes relationships possible:

• Integrating all self-aspects for peace and resilience — not compartmentalizing the parts of yourself that feel inconvenient or vulnerable
• The importance of inner nurturing and addressing unconscious relational patterns that play out again and again with different partners
• How slowing down fosters deeper connections — and why seeking coaching early (rather than in crisis) changes outcomes dramatically
• Transformational tools that foster healing and wholeness — the practices that actually move the needle
• Being fully seen and accepted as the path to integrating suppressed aspects of self
• How dysfunctional family models distort adult relationships — and what it takes to rewrite those templates

Why This Conversation Matters

One of the things Ryle articulates beautifully is that wholeness isn't about becoming someone different. It's about integrating the parts of yourself you've been hiding — including the vulnerable inner child and the capable adult — so that you can show up completely in your relationships.

That's work I believe in deeply. Whether you're navigating polyamory for the first time or you've been in the ENM community for years, the inner work is never finished. And the people who do it — the ones who get support before they're in crisis — tend to build the relationships they actually want.

Listen

This is Episode 288 of the Loving Without Boundaries podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts, or visit lovingwithoutboundaries.com.

Learn more about Ryle at the ART International website and the Kora Dating App.

---

Navigating the emotional landscape of open relationships? An ENM-aware coach or therapist can help you build the tools to thrive.

Comments

Join the conversation — create a free account to comment.

Join the conversation

Loading comments…