When Your Partner’s New Relationship Changes Everything (Even If Nothing Has Changed Yet)

Why does dating someone who’s already partnered sometimes feel easier than watching our own partner fall for someone new?

When we enter a relationship with someone who already has other partners, we can see how their existing relationships fit into their life and begin to find our own place within that relational ecosystem.

But when your partner starts seeing someone brand new, and you witness their excitement about this connection, you might find yourself worrying about what could happen if they fall deeply in love.

For many of us, a partner’s new connection can feel more difficult is because we know so little about this person and what their relationship might become. In the absence of information, our imaginations can begin filling in the blanks with all sorts of unsettling possibilities.

Jenny Morgan, The Landing

Will they want to spend more nights with them? Will they become less interested in sex with you? Will you still be the person they turn to when something exciting happens?

Perhaps you find yourself ruminating about what might happen next, scanning for signs that something is changing, or feeling a sudden urgency to seek reassurance.

You might even feel a little embarrassed by the intensity of your response… 😬

After all, you believe in non-monogamy. A part of you might genuinely want your partner to experience love and connection with other people. Another part of you might even feel excited for them.

So why does this particular situation feel so threatening for so many of us?

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