Diana arrived ready to save her relationship. What she found instead was herself. A real story about open relationships, identity, and transformation.
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Kitty Chambliss, a relationship coach specializing in ethical non-monogamy and polyamory, shares the transformation of a client named Diana through her coaching program, the Jealousy Survival Guide (JSG).
Diana and her partner both identified as polyamorous but operated from fundamentally different approaches. The core issue centered on transparency—what Diana described as ”the bedrock of polyamory” for her. Misalignments in how information was shared and timed created an emotional cycle: Diana reacted to disclosures, her partner felt punished for honesty, he became less forthcoming, she felt unsafe, and the pattern intensified.
Beyond communication challenges, Diana struggled with a deep fear of loss, specifically that her partner might pursue an exclusive dynamic with someone else. This anxiety manifested physically, leaving her unable to find stability.
She articulated her core need: ”I want my relationship to work, but not at the expense of feeling safe.”
Diana wasn’t passive. She’d read extensively and attempted communication repeatedly, but described these efforts as ”mostly lots of ineffective communication and reading of books.” The gap between intellectual understanding and embodied skill during triggering moments remained unresolved.
Diana initially sought the program believing she would save her relationship. Instead, she discovered personal transformation. Her key learnings included:
Notably, these skills extended beyond romantic relationships into her professional life and daily challenges.
Diana’s final assessment emphasized that the program builds ”self-trust, emotional responsibility, and resilience” applicable across relationship styles and life circumstances, rather than prescribing a single model for how people should love.
She left a five-star review, noting that ”my relationship with both myself and my partner are flourishing.” Chambliss describes Diana as becoming a genuine friend—evidence that deep coaching work creates authentic connection.
Navigating the emotional landscape of open relationships? An ENM-aware coach or therapist can help you build the tools to thrive.
Original Post: Kitty
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