What Books Should I Read If I’m Struggling With Jealousy In My Open Relationship?

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Hello Loving Without Boundaries Community!

I get asked this constantly. Someone’s just found their way into this life — open, polyamorous, ethically non-monogamous, whatever word fits them best — and jealousy has them by the throat. They’ve read my book. They want more. They want to know what else actually helped, from someone who’s actually lived it.

So I finally did something about it. I put together a real, curated list of the books I hand to my own coaching clients — the ones I’ve actually read, actually recommend, and actually believe in. No filler. No “best books” list generated by someone who’s never sat with a jealous 3am spiral in their life.

I lovingly invite you to go check it out: The best books for surviving jealousy in an open relationship, without white-knuckling it.

Two of the five are from people I actually know.

Jessica Fern’s Polywise is on the list — she’s been on my podcast more than once, and her writing on attachment and polyamory has genuinely shaped how I coach to this day.

And Kathy Labriola — my friend, and honestly one of the OG voices in this whole community — has also been on the show multiple times, including to talk about The Polyamory Breakup Book specifically. If you’ve ever needed proof that a breakup inside a polyamorous relationship doesn’t have to end the whole relationship (or your sanity), that book is it. Kathy knows this territory better than almost anyone alive.

The rest of the list is exactly what you’d expect from me: real, practical, no-shame tools. Nothing theoretical. Nothing that makes you feel more broken by the time you finish the chapter than when you started.

And yes, my own book is finally on there too. It took a little Amazon distribution wrangling to make that happen, but Jealousy Survival Guide is officially part of its own recommendation list now, which feels like a full-circle kind of win.

Every purchase through the list also supports independent bookstores, not the big guy — which felt like the right way to build this.

You are not alone in this. And you don’t have to white-knuckle your way through it, either. 💜

If you want more of what I actually recommend — books, tools, the whole shop — you can always find it at lovingwithoutboundaries.com/books.

With love, Kitty

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KITTY CHAMBLISS, Master Coach (ICF-Certified), CPC
Relationship Coach | Speaker | Educator | Trauma-Informed
Author of “Jealousy Survival Guide: How to feel safe, happy, and secure in an open relationship”

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