10 Powerful Questions to Ask Yourself When Dating

In my dating coaching practice, I often witness my clients getting swept up by people who are physically attractive to them--but getting quickly disappointed when that person doesn't meet their expectations on other bases.

While physical attraction is AWESOME (and it wouldn't occur to me to rain on that parade!)--I want to encourage you to ALSO ask yourself questions about this person's character, values, worldview, and patterns, so you can bring deeper intelligence to your love journey and avoid unnecessary dating burnout.

These questions are designed to assist you in the process of understanding the person in front of you!

By the way: this skillset will serve you brilliantly in ALL areas of your life, not just dating!

My 10 Top Questions to Understand People

1. How would this person describe their "place" or "role" in the world?
2. Based on their behaviors, what is their biggest motivation in life?
3. What main emotions does this person seem to run in their body on a regular basis?
4. What is this person's relationship to kindness?
5. What is this person's relationship to emotional pain?
6. What is this person's relationship to pleasure?
7. How does my heart feel in this person's presence?
8. What parts of me, if any, do I feel like I have to hide in order to make them comfortable?
9. What is the quality of this person's listening? And self-expression?
10. What am I observing about how this person treats others? How they treat me?

Bonus: Turn the Mirror Inward

How would you answer these questions about yourself? How do you imagine other people would answer these questions about you?

Getting to understand YOURSELF more deeply as a potential partner will ground your dating experience in self-trust and realism--which ultimately can lead to the type of enchantment that is good for you (unlike the crash-and-burn type).

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