Polyamory and The Struggle Of Uncertainty

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Do you get anxious when you think about trying something new or making a big change? That’s okay, most people do. And doing non-monogamy for the first time when you’ve been conditioned for monogamy your entire life can be fucking terrifying.

I used to be a perfectionist, and embracing my polyamorous identity required unlearning the anxiety that came around that. It is still a work in progress, but it taught me to be resilient in the face of uncertainty - to not know what’s going to happen next, and to embrace it anyway.

Over time, I’ve learnt how to bounce back from setbacks, not take things too personally, and reflect on my mistakes without beating myself up over it - and obviously I still stumble, but that’s human and normal.

It is possible to over prepare for polyamory. Even if you read all the books and listen to all the podcasts and do all the research you possibly can, there are still things that are going to happen that you did not expect when you actually do it. You have to learn how to be okay with that, and move through the change instead of running away from it.

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