So What If Your Feelings Are Irrational?

Photo by Vie Studio on Pexels

Having “irrational” feelings while adjusting to non-monogamy is okay and normal. However, your feelings still deserve to be treated with compassion and care, even if they “don’t make sense” to you or your partner(s).

Even if you *logically* understand something (e.g. "my partner loving someone else doesn't mean that they don't love me"), it doesn't necessarily mean your emotions will follow. Your brain may have intellectualised it, but your body hasn't internalised it yet. Unfortunately, in some relationships where this isn't acknowledged enough, partners can end up, intentionally or not, shaming their loved ones for not having yet done something that objectively doesn't happen overnight.

Of course, your partner can only do so much to support you, so if you find yourself acting in ways that are severely hindering the way you show up in your relationship and are struggling to figure out why, you probably need professional help. Talking to someone and having a space to figure out your survival mechanisms and thought processes in a neutral, non-judgmental space can be instrumental to uncovering patterns that you weren't conscious of before.

*

If you found this article helpful, consider the following:

• Book a peer support session with me for further guidance and support on your non-monogamous journey

• Support me on Patreon and access exclusive posts and perks

• Subscribe to my monthly newsletter to stay updated about new resources, workshops and events

• Follow me on other social channels - I’m at @polyphiliablog, everywhere.

Comments

Join the conversation — create a free account to comment.

Join the conversation

Loading comments…