Maybe Your Looks Aren't the Reason You're Single

Show notes

Why are people so worried about the attractiveness gap? What about the kindness gap? The "I can do chores around the house" gap? The emotional processing gap?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley read from Playboy Magazine. The article in question? "We Asked the Women of the SEC About Shrekking." And yes, SEC refers to the Southeastern Conference, not the Securities and Exchange Commission (but it's an easy mistake to make 😉).

As Liz and Harris dig into this supposed dating trend of beautiful women choosing "ugly" men, they have to look at the bigger picture: Why are we still treating physical attractiveness like the ultimate measure of someone's value as a partner? Especially when kindness, emotional availability, communication, accountability, and actually contributing to a relationship tend to matter a whole lot more once you're, you know…in one.

Highlights of the episode:

Attractiveness isn't the most important thing to look for in a partner
Why do men refuse to listen to women about what they want?
What do YOU bring to the table?
Dishes are something people who use dishes clean
Sometimes the "average" or "ugly" guy just has great game

If your dating strategy is built around finding the hottest person you can "get," it might be time to leave the swamp. And if you're not sure what to focus on instead, you've come to the right place.

Time Stamps

00:00 – Welcome to the podcast

02:18 – What is "Shrekking?"

03:13 – The beauty standards in Southern sororities

11:55 – Is dating someone less attractive actually "dating down"?

15:20 – The kind of dating down we SHOULD be talking about

18:30 – Treating women well might just lead to more dates

22:32 – The entitlement to wanting women you don't even like

28:05 – Performative attraction

30:03 – Maybe start with compatibility over looks

33:44 – What do women actually find attractive?

37:02 – Being hot doesn't make you a good partner