Has The Internet Made Dating Worse?

Show notes

Women told men to stop approaching them, but now they're upset that men aren't taking charge? So what are men even supposed to do?! 🫩

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley dig into a post from r/DatingOver30 titled, "I Feel Gaslit by Modern Dating. Am I Completely Wrong?"

And, yes... he kind of is.

First things first, women changing their dating preferences isn't what gaslighting is. Secondly, this sounds less like modern dating suddenly changed the rules and more like someone heard "don't approach women like that" and decided it meant "never approach women again."

So how do you know when it's okay to approach someone? How can you actually flirt without being creepy?

It turns out the answer has much less to do with memorizing dating rules and a lot more to do with having people skills. And maybe stop taking your dating advice from the algorithm. 🤷

Highlights of the episode:

A reminder that women aren't a monolith, especially in dating
Why learning to read the room will get you farther than any dating rulebook ever will
Are there good and bad people, or are we all messy combinations of both?
Signs you may need to take a break from the internet

If your feed is suddenly showing you 20 videos a day about how women hate being approached (or hate NOT being approached), it doesn't mean you've discovered the secret thoughts of all women. It might just mean you need to put away the screen and go talk to real people. 😉

Time Stamps

00:00 – Welcome to Do As We Say

01:07 – r/DatingOver30: "I Feel Gaslit by Modern Dating"

08:10 – The problem with the "cold approach"

12:39 – Where is it okay to flirt?

14:03 – What's your goal for approaching someone?

19:13 – What women mean when they want men to "take the lead"

21:12 – There is no one right way to flirt

23:40 – Fascination is a flirting superpower

25:23 – Everybody has something cool about them

28:36 – Your desire might be making you forget the person in front of you

29:38 – Stop asking "how do I get them to like me?"