What Therapy Really Is

Have you ever stopped to think about how weird a therapist’s job is?

We sit with people in private conversation as they overflow with their rawest, deepest, most tragic (and most heartwarming) experiences. We look them in the eyes and remind them they are seen. They are human. They are messy, flawed, imperfectly perfect - as we all are.

It is single-handedly the most incredible thing I do each day. And then, I leave my office and I’m not allowed to tell anyone what I discussed all afternoon! That, to me, is one of the wildest parts of my job.

One of the most valuable things I can offer my clients is my unwavering presence. I bring my full, regulated nervous system to anchor clients in whatever emotions they find overwhelming, too hard to handle, or so buried they haven’t yet spoken them into existence. Therapy done well is spiritual work - it is expansive, transformative, and deeply relational.

Many people approach therapy as a way to “fix themselves.” They hope to find relief from their pain - a way out from where they are. And a piece of it is that. But moreover, therapy is alchemy; a sacred hour each week (or every two weeks) where we wrestle with our most challenging parts, deriving wisdom from the pain.

Sometimes this alchemy looks less than magical - like catching your therapist up on the past week’s ups and downs. That’s okay. Transformation is so often found in the mundanity of daily life. Do not discount that as you walk along this path.

Over the past several years, going to therapy has become a mechanism for assessing where another human is on their “healing journey.” Maybe you use it as a barometer for who to date, become friends with, or who might make the best roommates.

But simply going to therapy does not mean the work of deep change or awareness is happening. Sometimes it’s a poor fit or the container doesn’t feel safe enough yet. Other times, either therapist or client doesn’t approach therapy as alchemy - and that’s okay, too.

Still, I believe that the true power of this work is nothing short of spiritual. It reminds us that we are all flawed, and that doesn’t make us “broken.” It simply makes us human.

Comments

Join the conversation — create a free account to comment.

Join the conversation

Loading comments…