The ABC's of Sex

Welcome to what I coined the ABC’s of Sex. By using the ABC’s as your sexual pillars, you can create a more satisfying and playful sexual connection.

A is for Attunement - being deeply aware, in sync, and responsive to your partner’s verbal and non-verbal cues. Understanding their physical movements, emotional states, and verbal responses and utilizing this information to adjust your own responses to help meet their needs. During sex, this can look like paying close attention to their facial expressions and bodily responses, and adjusting your play accordingly.

B is for Being present - presence is the greatest gift you can show up with during sexual playtime. Being present during play is really sinking into the moment, experiencing and having a deep awareness of your own physical and emotional responses, and being available and aware of your partner’s responses.

C is for Communication - Great sex comes from great communication. It is also essential that you discuss your sex life outside of the bedroom. As I always say - you are already vulnerable when discussing your intimate life, so there’s no need to be doubly naked. I encourage you to communicate about everything that involves your sex life; how you best feel in the mood, what physically feels amazing, what you want to see less of, and what you are excited to try. Talk about what sex means to you, both generally and in your specific relationship. Bring an attitude of curiosity to your sex life, and continue to explore what excites both yourself and your partner(s).

And D is extra credit - Doing it again and again. Because practice makes progress, and sex is a skill just like anything else. Practicing it, while focusing on the pillars above, will help you build the sex life you’ve always wanted.

Comments

Join the conversation — create a free account to comment.

Join the conversation

Loading comments…