RENT's Maureen Taught Me to Be a Chaotic Bisexual

Pride month always brings back memories of coming out - and mine starts with a wild, chaotic bisexual on screen.

As is tradition during Pride month, we are all invited to take a walk down memory lane: the journey of “coming out.” Like so many other Millennials, the movie version of RENT was a huge part of my queer journey. There on the big screen - along with learning exactly how many minutes there are in a year - I was finally offered a mainstream version of what it meant to be bisexual: Maureen.

Maureen was wild, free, and effortlessly flitted between men and women (and let’s be real, everyone else). As a teenager, watching her be so grounded in her oozing sexuality - one that included the world - cracked mine right open. Sure, her bisexuality was a topic of gossip in the film, but she wasn’t shamed for it; she was liberated. And I wanted to be liberated, too.

Fast forward several years and many make-outs with my closest female girlfriends later, I officially switched my Tinder settings to “women only.” No one seemed all that surprised when I told them I was bisexual. My closest friend (also queer) sighed, “Finally!” over the phone as we giggled about our first semester of college - which consisted of cuddling and watching the entirety of the original L Word. I smiled at the absurdity of believing I’d been wholly straight. Instead, I got to live out my wildest Maureen dreams.

Also, let’s clarify - I’m using the word bisexual because it’s meaningful to me. In my opinion, bisexuality and pansexuality are the same: I am attracted to all genders and gender presentations. If your bisexuality doesn’t include trans or non-binary people, we have very different ideas of what being bi means. And honestly, you probably want to take a critical look at that.

Bisexuality is messy - it’s not one or the other, it’s both, and. Maureen is chaotic, indecisive, and just as annoying in one relationship as she is in the next, regardless of gender. And this is exactly why I love her. Her bisexuality doesn’t exist for the male gaze to enjoy, and she’s not a shy femme about it (if you know, you know). She exemplifies the duality of what can sometimes feel like living between two worlds.

I’ll always be grateful for Maureen. She embodied a version of bisexuality that was messy, complex, and real - and that’s what has always mattered.

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