Playing With Fire
Hosted by Joli Hamilton
Researcher, relationship coach, and TED speaker Joli Hamilton explores compersion, jealousy, and the science of non-monogamy with co-host Ken Hamilton.
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Latest episodes (261 total)
256 Leaving High-Demand Religion and Exploring Non-Monogamy with Natasha Helfer
Leaving high-demand religion isn't just about changing your Sunday morning schedule. It’s about deconstructing a belief system that touches everything in your life. And when you start pulling on this thread, you might find yourself…
255 When should we start making agreements in NEW relationships?
Here’s a question we get a lot – at what point in a new relationship should you start making agreements? The answer might surprise you: you already are. From the moment you decide where to meet for a first date, you're making agreements.…
254 How to Figure Out What You Want and Need: An Insider’s Experience of YOO
Figuring out what your wants and needs might sound simple, but it’s often… really not.To help you navigate this question, we’re bringing you a super special episode in a never-before-seen (and possibly never to be seen again!) format.…
253 The Shadow of Compersion
Compersion – feeling joy for another person’s joy – is a beautiful thing, especially when it comes to non-monogamy. But, like anything that’s bright and shiny, there’s a shadow side to compersion, and we’ve seen it become a stumbling…
252 Triad Life in a World of Couples with Margo, Jody & Chris
Relationships are messy, and when you re-imagine life with three instead of two, well, let's just say the complexity multiplies in ways you might not expect, even if you've been practicing non-monogamy for decades. So what does it…
251 Trailblazing vs Following: The Hidden Dynamic That May Be Creating Resentment
When a couple opens their relationship, there’s almost always one partner who tends to take more initiative – to seek out information, read all the books, listen to podcasts, find a poly-aware therapist, initiate important conversations…
250 Relationship Re‑Imagination: The Framework
To celebrate hitting 250 episodes of Playing With Fire, we’re diving deep into something we've been asked about constantly since our first episode on it over a year ago: Relationship Re-Imagination.We introduced this concept back in…
[Replay] 194 Re-Imagining Relationships
When something isn't working, even if you’ve been practicing non-monogamy for a long time, it’s really easy to default into the monogamous paradigm, which offers only a few set options. But what if there was another way?Reimagining a…
249 Is Your Non‑Monogamy Actually Just Two Monogamies?
So you made the transition to non-monogamy… but you ended up feeling like you’re living two separate parallel lives in different relationships. This might not seem like that big a deal from the outside, but in many cases, having a siloed…
248 Beyond People-Pleasing: Practicing Healthy Autonomy in Relationships
People pleasing is not an effective strategy on the path to healthy, conscious relating. But adopting an approach towards autonomy that amounts to ‘I don’t owe anyone anything’ is…not it either. These extremes were adaptive patterns; they…
247 Non-Monogamy, Mono-Mind: The Invisible Scripts Running Your Communication
Chances are, if you know one thing about conscious relating, it’s that communication is key. And if you’re good at communicating in monogamous relationships, you might think that those skills will easily transfer to polyamory. But even…
246 We Opened up Too Fast. What Do We Do Now?
The phrase "we opened up too fast" comes up a lot in the conversations we have with people who are transitioning from monogamy to non-monogamy. But what does "too fast" even mean? And more importantly—too fast for whom?Here's the thing:…
