Playing With Fire Podcast

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Latest episodes (265 total)

Oct 10, 202639m
260 ‘I feel seen… but not by you’ – Metamours, Jealousy, and Differentiation
Have you ever wondered what your partner looks like through someone else's eyes? It's a question that can bring up a swirl of emotions—curiosity, insecurity, excitement, maybe even panic. But what if that willingness to wonder is actually…
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Oct 3, 202655m
259 Getting Unstuck: How a Frozen Imagination Blocks the Relationship You Want
What if the thing that’s really stopping you from changing your relationships isn’t a lack of motivation or willpower, but a frozen imagination? We all hold internal representations of ourselves, our partners, and our relationships in our…
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Sep 26, 202633m
258 Patterns of Harm Need Patterns of Repair: Rethinking Closure
Ever feel like you're having the same conversation about the same hurt over and over again? Yeah, we’ve been there. And the surprising thing is… that's not necessarily a problem.We just did an episode on conflict and how it can actually…
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Sep 19, 202651m
257 Conflict as Growth: Deepening Intimacy through Disagreement
When we see conflict as a red flag, we pave the way for dishonest ‘peace,’ people pleasing (where no one is actually pleased at all), and emotional walls that try to protect us but end up leaving us isolated and disconnected.The truth is…
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Sep 12, 202649m
256 Leaving High-Demand Religion and Exploring Non-Monogamy with Natasha Helfer
Leaving high-demand religion isn't just about changing your Sunday morning schedule. It’s about deconstructing a belief system that touches everything in your life. And when you start pulling on this thread, you might find yourself…
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Sep 5, 202649m
255 When should we start making agreements in NEW relationships?
Here’s a question we get a lot – at what point in a new relationship should you start making agreements? The answer might surprise you: you already are. From the moment you decide where to meet for a first date, you're making agreements.…
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Aug 29, 20261h 5m
254 How to Figure Out What You Want and Need: An Insider’s Experience of YOO
Figuring out what your wants and needs might sound simple, but it’s often… really not.To help you navigate this question, we’re bringing you a super special episode in a never-before-seen (and possibly never to be seen again!) format.…
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Aug 15, 202643m
253 The Shadow of Compersion
Compersion – feeling joy for another person’s joy – is a beautiful thing, especially when it comes to non-monogamy. But, like anything that’s bright and shiny, there’s a shadow side to compersion, and we’ve seen it become a stumbling…
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Aug 1, 20261h 15m
252 Triad Life in a World of Couples with Margo, Jody & Chris
Relationships are messy, and when you re-imagine life with three instead of two, well, let's just say the complexity multiplies in ways you might not expect, even if you've been practicing non-monogamy for decades. So what does it…
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Jul 18, 202649m
251 Trailblazing vs Following: The Hidden Dynamic That May Be Creating Resentment
When a couple opens their relationship, there’s almost always one partner who tends to take more initiative – to seek out information, read all the books, listen to podcasts, find a poly-aware therapist, initiate important conversations…
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Jul 4, 20262h 25m
250 Relationship Re‑Imagination: The Framework
To celebrate hitting 250 episodes of Playing With Fire, we’re diving deep into something we've been asked about constantly since our first episode on it over a year ago: Relationship Re-Imagination.We introduced this concept back in…
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Jun 27, 202652m
[Replay] 194 Re-Imagining Relationships
When something isn't working, even if you’ve been practicing non-monogamy for a long time, it’s really easy to default into the monogamous paradigm, which offers only a few set options. But what if there was another way?Reimagining a…
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