Non-Monogamy Is Hard, Because Change Is Hard.

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels

If you're doing non-monogamy for the first time, it means you are:

1. Trying something new

2. Adjusting to a big change

3. Unlearning mononormativity in a world that tells you that's bad and wrong.

What you're doing can be hard and scary. Struggling is okay and normal. I think we collectively underestimate what a big task it is to completely revolutionise the way you do relationships and rethink your entire relationship structure from the ground up, especially if you've been doing it the conventional way for a long time. As a result, we downplay the struggles of transitioning from monogamy to polyamory (or, even if you were never monogamous, from passively going along with to actively resisting societal structure of mononormativity).

You're allowed to struggle in polyamory, because you're allowed to struggle with relationships, with change, with resisting heteronormative paradigms, and so many other things that are objectively difficult. I promise you can give yourself grace and you will be okay. Your struggles are not a reflection of future outcome.

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