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COMMUNICATION & BOUNDARIES

My 3 Main Requirements in Polyamory

Keep your agreements. Be safe and kind. Communicate when things change. Three simple requirements that make polyamory actually work.

✦ BY LEANNE YAU
OCTOBER 23, 2025
My 3 Main Requirements in Polyamory

Photo by Viktoria Slowikowska on Pexels

My only requirements in polyamory:

1. Honour our agreements, and renegotiate them if the existing ones don't work

2. Be as safe, respectful, communicative, and kind as you can humanly be

3. Be curious about yourself - consistently strive to be a better person and partner, and never get complacent as there's always more to learn. Beyond that, me and my partners can do literally whatever we want.

In my experience, the simpler the agreements are, the easier they are to follow. My agreements are less based on practical stuff and more about our general ethos/values in the relationship. In my mind, it makes it much easier to decide on what to do when I find myself in more complicated, 'gray area' situations where I don't know how my partner would feel. Obviously, no agreement is 100% foolproof and there has to be some room for flexibility and mistakes, but these agreements have served me pretty well over the years :)

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Original Post: Poly Philia

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